Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I have aggressive nipples.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
