I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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