are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Who did Billy Mays play for?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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