I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
