YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
