I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
