belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
