ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
