Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
