i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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