shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Acid is not a monday night drug
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
