He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
do herpes really smell.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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