i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize