In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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