Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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