She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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