careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
