im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
