i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
