Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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