i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
