john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
