he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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