I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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