I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
