I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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