Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
