I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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