I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
