Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Houston, we have a blender
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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