Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
