if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
