Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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