So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
