We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
