Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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