I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wish i was in the wii world.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
