I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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