just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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