i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
