I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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