smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you win again, gameday.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
