No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
