Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
