Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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