I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I love having hate sex.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
