I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
