I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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