First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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