The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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